Forgiveness

I really enjoy driving.  My paternal grandpa was a truck driver.  He had a CB in his car which he used often.  While I was growing up, he would talk to me about driving, truckers, and the written and unspoken rules of the road.  My other grandpa was a drivers' training instructor during the summer, and I was lucky enough to go with my grandparents on long road trips all over the USA.  My favorite summer spot was sitting between my grandma and grandpa in the cab of their truck listening to their stories and learning all about proper and improper driving techniques.

Recently, our family took a long driving vacation which crammed 6 fairly large children into a suburban while my husband completed a large portion of the driving.  However, I'm a little opinionated about how a person should conduct themselves on the road.  And sometimes my husband and I have very different ideas of the proper way to manage our beast of a vehicle in crowded streets.  The truth is, I believe I know the right way and I'm confident he needs me to tell him.  Sometimes he doesn't listen to me, and tempers flair (well mostly my temper).

These are not my finest moments.  I rationalize my behavior with a myriad of logical explanations.  But in the end, even though I may be technically right, I'm still plainly wrong. To make matters worse, I don't always apologize.

And yet, my husband still forgives me.  I find this to be remarkable in itself.  Without apologizing and sometimes without even changing my behavior, he still forgives me.  Who does that?  Why would anyone do that?  I mean, he's a good guy, but he's not without some major flaws.  This is not normal human behavior.

While I am able to forgive, I like to put conditions on my forgiveness.  I don't want to forgive someone who continually hurts me.  I don't want to forgive someone unless they ask.  I don't want to forgive my enemies.  And I suspect that most of the world would agree with my human nature.  In fact, Peter brought this topic up to Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 which reads:

 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 

 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

It was common to implement the three strike rule back in Peter's day.  Rabbinic law often only dictated that a person had to forgive three times and then no more.  But Jesus clarified and said, if there is an occasion to forgive, we must forgive.  I don't think my husband wanted to forgive me (and let's be honest, it did take some time for tempers to calm).  But as the recipient of forgiveness which I didn't deserve, it only emphasized how much he loves me.  When we are members of Christ's family, He too offers us forgiveness which we could never earn and we certainly don't deserve.

This is how I want to forgive - like Christ.