Right or Wrong?
I am opinionated, that shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who has known me since I was about 2 months old. When I was younger, I thought certain things were right and others were wrong - mostly based upon what my mother taught me. I'm fairly certain I ruined my 5th grade movie day for our class because I didn't believe my mom would let me watch The Karate Kid. Thankfully, my teacher picked a different movie, but popular I was not. There was a forever choice when I was younger to please my peers or please my mom. I typically sided with pleasing my mom even though she wasn't present. And often everyone else in class disagreed with me.
Fast forward 40 years and I'm no longer living to please my mom. But I still have a strong sense of right and wrong. For instance, I'm not particularity pleased with people in my sphere who are consistently irresponsible with their children and animals. But we all have opinions; don't we? And in today's society opinions are constantly expressed, often through complaining. We complain when people's values don't align with ours. I am definitely guilty of this! Today, I posted that I wasn't pleased that some irresponsible neighbors of ours got another Pit bull after their first Pit bull attacked 3 neighbors and was removed from their home. I believe they made a bad choice for our neighborhood by attempting to raise another Pit bull again. Parents complain when they believe their kids aren't being treated the way they want them to be treated, and I've been on both ends of this. I've complained to a teacher and had a slew of complaints come my way from parents (as anyone has who has ever worked in a school system).
In my facebook post regarding our neighbor and his out of control Pit bulls, I also posted praise for our other neighbor who has one of the best behaved dogs I've ever met, who is also a Pit bull. But then I wondered, will my post actually resolve the issue? Have I ever talked to the irresponsible Pit bull owner? Have I ever personally praised the responsible Pit bull owner? So, while I may have a legitimate complaint or issue that should be resolved, I'm pretty sure that the irresponsible dog owner disagrees with me regarding the right and wrong way to raise a dog. The same is true for teachers and parents. We often believe differently about right and wrong. And while I may not be able to convince a dog owner to see things my way or a parent to parent in a way that teaches their child to be respectful of others, I can handle the situation correctly.
So, how do we handle difficult interpersonal situations correctly? Well, the Bible tells us: "If your brother or sister sins against you, go to them. Tell them what they did wrong. Keep it between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them back." (Matthew 18:15 NIRV) To be clear, when it reads, "brother or sister" the words imply a fellow believer. But, sometimes we have difficult situations with unbelievers, so does that change how we should handle the situation? No. We are to always give people the benefit of the doubt. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us that we should treat fellow believers kindly and unblievers unkindly. Instead, we are actually taught to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Airing our grievances indirectly solves nothing. Airing them on facebook is not productive (reminder to myself).
So while we may have issues with our friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, bosses, and acquaintances, and we might not be able to agree on what is right and what is wrong, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to handle the situation. The Bible tells us to talk to the other person directly. And who knows, it might actually surprise you! Sure, it could go badly, but it might also go really well. Conflict resolution does not occur through gossip, facebook, or indirect messaging through friends. Conflict resolution can only occur between the two people or parties involved.
Fast forward 40 years and I'm no longer living to please my mom. But I still have a strong sense of right and wrong. For instance, I'm not particularity pleased with people in my sphere who are consistently irresponsible with their children and animals. But we all have opinions; don't we? And in today's society opinions are constantly expressed, often through complaining. We complain when people's values don't align with ours. I am definitely guilty of this! Today, I posted that I wasn't pleased that some irresponsible neighbors of ours got another Pit bull after their first Pit bull attacked 3 neighbors and was removed from their home. I believe they made a bad choice for our neighborhood by attempting to raise another Pit bull again. Parents complain when they believe their kids aren't being treated the way they want them to be treated, and I've been on both ends of this. I've complained to a teacher and had a slew of complaints come my way from parents (as anyone has who has ever worked in a school system).
So, how do we handle difficult interpersonal situations correctly? Well, the Bible tells us: "If your brother or sister sins against you, go to them. Tell them what they did wrong. Keep it between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them back." (Matthew 18:15 NIRV) To be clear, when it reads, "brother or sister" the words imply a fellow believer. But, sometimes we have difficult situations with unbelievers, so does that change how we should handle the situation? No. We are to always give people the benefit of the doubt. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us that we should treat fellow believers kindly and unblievers unkindly. Instead, we are actually taught to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Airing our grievances indirectly solves nothing. Airing them on facebook is not productive (reminder to myself).
So while we may have issues with our friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, bosses, and acquaintances, and we might not be able to agree on what is right and what is wrong, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to handle the situation. The Bible tells us to talk to the other person directly. And who knows, it might actually surprise you! Sure, it could go badly, but it might also go really well. Conflict resolution does not occur through gossip, facebook, or indirect messaging through friends. Conflict resolution can only occur between the two people or parties involved.
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