Virtual Personality
My husband frequently says to me, "Wow! You really know how to win friends and influence people!" Yeah, yeah, yeah...whatever. I'm not Mrs. Personality. I don't think I have a charismatic bone in my body. I've taken a few personality tests and I usually fall within the 2% weirdo range. My husband, on the other hand, has many many friends. Everyone seems to like him. People follow him, listen to him, and enjoy being around him. He's got a witty sense of humor and generally gets along with everyone. Truth be told, I'm pretty fond of him myself! So why did God give me such a rare personality and my husband such a popular personality?
Growing up, I knew I was different. My mind didn't seem to function the same way as others around me. I didn't arrive at the same conclusions as my peers in social situations, and I had a difficult time understanding human behavior. My husband, on the other hand, was very socially adept. He has been able to read people since he was very young and he can predict how a person will respond before they respond. He likes to people watch. I like to count and analyze patterns.
Through my mid-twenties, I was pretty sure I needed to change my personality. I wanted to be more like the popular social crowd. They were carefree, happy, adaptable, and seemed to have it all. I wasn't unhappy; I simply didn't find happiness in partying. I've never been carefree; I was planned and intentional. While not particularly adaptable, I was never afraid to enter into uncomfortable situations. I cared for people deeply on an individual basis. Instead of protesting for the poor, I was much more likely to strike up an individual conversation with a homeless person.
In my young mind, I thought I was missing something because I wasn't socially adept. I didn't fit in with the crowd. I never wanted to be the center of attention, but I wanted to impact the world for Christ. My husband, on the other hand, was the president of a fraternity, and was the crowd! Neither of us have the correct or incorrect personality. But in the world of social media, internet fame, and school bullying, certain types of personalities are becoming much more ostracized. Young people who would have a hard time changing their personalities in face-to-face situations can become someone completely different online. Instead of learning to work with the personality God gave them, they simply change it in the virtual world. And this concerns me.
When I grew up, I was convinced my personality was strange and devalued. But I learned how to interact with people appropriately. I learned to use my analytical strengths to enter into fields that were difficult for many women, and to succeed in those fields. I learned to lean on God to help me navigate social scenes, and sometimes stick out in situations where everyone else seemed to fit in. Now young people with unique personalities have even more incentive to change who they are online. Instead of wrestling with why God made them this way and attempting to forge a path in the world that honors Christ and uses their strengths, many simply throw it out the window and enter into a virtual reality morphing into the person they think everyone else wants them to be. They receive clicks, likes, swipes, and more for being someone they are not. It is extremely sad and dangerous.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who values my personality. Sure he calls me funny names like, "brillo pad" and "sheepdog." But he also explains to me why having a personality that embodies those two nicknames is valuable. I can deliver truth that is sometimes hard to hear and others are afraid to speak. People come to me in the darkest times of life and share with me their deepest secrets because I don't tell secrets, I don't act shocked, and I am a strong safe place. I hardly ever notice what people are wearing or how they look, but I recognize changes in pattern. If everyone is walking on the beach, but someone is sitting alone by themselves, I take note. If they look like they need help or are sad, I take action. My husband explains why my kind of personality is valuable to others. When I was younger, I thought I needed to change who I was so that people would like me. Now that I'm older, I realize that God made me who I am to uniquely help others.
The virtual world is out to destroy uncommon personalities. It gives an incentive for everyone to conform to a certain personality standard, and this is not good for our world or for Christendom.
Psalm 139: 13-16 reads:
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
Growing up, I knew I was different. My mind didn't seem to function the same way as others around me. I didn't arrive at the same conclusions as my peers in social situations, and I had a difficult time understanding human behavior. My husband, on the other hand, was very socially adept. He has been able to read people since he was very young and he can predict how a person will respond before they respond. He likes to people watch. I like to count and analyze patterns.
Through my mid-twenties, I was pretty sure I needed to change my personality. I wanted to be more like the popular social crowd. They were carefree, happy, adaptable, and seemed to have it all. I wasn't unhappy; I simply didn't find happiness in partying. I've never been carefree; I was planned and intentional. While not particularly adaptable, I was never afraid to enter into uncomfortable situations. I cared for people deeply on an individual basis. Instead of protesting for the poor, I was much more likely to strike up an individual conversation with a homeless person.
In my young mind, I thought I was missing something because I wasn't socially adept. I didn't fit in with the crowd. I never wanted to be the center of attention, but I wanted to impact the world for Christ. My husband, on the other hand, was the president of a fraternity, and was the crowd! Neither of us have the correct or incorrect personality. But in the world of social media, internet fame, and school bullying, certain types of personalities are becoming much more ostracized. Young people who would have a hard time changing their personalities in face-to-face situations can become someone completely different online. Instead of learning to work with the personality God gave them, they simply change it in the virtual world. And this concerns me.
When I grew up, I was convinced my personality was strange and devalued. But I learned how to interact with people appropriately. I learned to use my analytical strengths to enter into fields that were difficult for many women, and to succeed in those fields. I learned to lean on God to help me navigate social scenes, and sometimes stick out in situations where everyone else seemed to fit in. Now young people with unique personalities have even more incentive to change who they are online. Instead of wrestling with why God made them this way and attempting to forge a path in the world that honors Christ and uses their strengths, many simply throw it out the window and enter into a virtual reality morphing into the person they think everyone else wants them to be. They receive clicks, likes, swipes, and more for being someone they are not. It is extremely sad and dangerous.
I am so fortunate to have a husband who values my personality. Sure he calls me funny names like, "brillo pad" and "sheepdog." But he also explains to me why having a personality that embodies those two nicknames is valuable. I can deliver truth that is sometimes hard to hear and others are afraid to speak. People come to me in the darkest times of life and share with me their deepest secrets because I don't tell secrets, I don't act shocked, and I am a strong safe place. I hardly ever notice what people are wearing or how they look, but I recognize changes in pattern. If everyone is walking on the beach, but someone is sitting alone by themselves, I take note. If they look like they need help or are sad, I take action. My husband explains why my kind of personality is valuable to others. When I was younger, I thought I needed to change who I was so that people would like me. Now that I'm older, I realize that God made me who I am to uniquely help others.
The virtual world is out to destroy uncommon personalities. It gives an incentive for everyone to conform to a certain personality standard, and this is not good for our world or for Christendom.
Psalm 139: 13-16 reads:
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
God did not make us all the same. He gave some wonderful fun loving popular personalities that appeal to the masses. He made others unique, rare, and uncommon. The uncommon personalities are less accepted in society, but so very important. We know from His Word that each one of us was formed specifically for a purpose. Our days were decided before we were even formed. God has equipped us with exactly what we need to fulfill His purposes in life.
I believe to some extent we all feel different from those around us. Even people with more common personalities often feel distinct deep down inside. But instead of trying to conform to the world and get the clicks, swipes, and likes many of us desire from virtual reality, let's ask God to conform us to His likeness and use us, personality and all, in the way He sees best fit. Let's teach our children that struggling to find our place in the real world is not bad, but rather necessary. It is important for all of us to conform our personalities to God's will not the consensus of social media.
Comments
Post a Comment