When We Lose The Ones We Love
It has been 11 years since we lost my grandmother and 8 years since we lost my grandfather. You would think that I would be over it by now, but I'm not. My heart still aches for them. I dream about them at night and think about them almost every day. They weren't normal grandparents. They were the best - kind, loving, joyful, engaging, thoughtful, wise, always teaching, never too busy, God-fearing, and selfless.
Even my husband, who only knew them for a few years, talks about how much he misses my grandpa with whom he spent many days and nights over the course of a year while working a nearby internship. Very few people crossed my grandparents' path and were not touched by God who shone brightly through them.
The hole in our lives was recently emphasized when our family tore down the house my grandpa built. We knew it had to be done, but tearing down the house felt like tearing out a piece of our family. Not one of us came out unscathed by the situation. That house represented the place where our family met - a little slice of heaven on earth.
I realize not every family is blessed with such great people, but all of us, at some time or another, feel extreme grief and loss. God gifted us with the ability to form loving relationships with one another, and eventually we all lose people we love. So, how should we move through our grief? How do we see the goodness of God in such a mournful state?
First, I thank God for choosing to give me such wonderful people. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) They impacted my life far beyond what can be explained in words.
Second, I realize that Ecclesiastes 3:20 (from dust to dust) is true. Our bodies, our creations, worldly things all return back to dust. The house my grandpa built is a literal example of this. After the fall, earthly things were not destined to remain forever. This is why God tells us to "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth," Colossians 3:2. No physical thing on earth will ever satisfy. It all passes away. It is all temporal.
Third, I understand more fully what is truly valuable. My grandparents' home was not fancy. In fact, some might describe it as quite poor looking. But it was the best place ever! What made it great was not its floors, doors, or walls, but the people in it. Relationships were emphasized. (I still remember my grandma making me hug my cousin after we got into an argument when I was about 6!) Faith, family, and service were paramount. Even though my grandpa physically built the home, it belonged to Christ. (Matthew 6:20-21: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.)
Finally, as I ache for what is no longer here, Hebrews 14:14 (NLT) rings so very true, "For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." We should not be so comfortable here that we don't ache for eternity. My grandpa once said to me as he was aging - "The older I get, more of the people I love are in heaven than are here." I didn't understand it at the time, but it is true. For those who love Christ, our heart starts to leave this earth and becomes more and more attached to heaven.
But the catch is, you must have a relationship with Christ. Yes, I love my grandparents, my little brother, and my friends who have gone before me. But what really draws me to eternity is God. Some people think the afterlife is going to be a big reunion of all those we love. But some will be missing. Many will not be in heaven. Dying isn't an exciting time. Most of us dread it. Some of us will be extremely disappointed and terrified when we die. Others, who have an ongoing relationship with Christ, will be comforted and filled with joy.
We cannot have an earthly mindset. We cannot push the things of God aside and hope it all works out in the end. We cannot build our homes and kingdoms on this earth and think they will fulfill. Everyone dies and leaves this world behind. It is only Christ who saves, Christ who fulfills, Christ who matters. Our lives are not about us or our family. Our lives should reflect Christ in all that we do. We owe everything to Him. He is my rescuer. He will heal my broken heart. Because of Him, I will be with many of my family members again. But without Him, all that's left is dust.
Even my husband, who only knew them for a few years, talks about how much he misses my grandpa with whom he spent many days and nights over the course of a year while working a nearby internship. Very few people crossed my grandparents' path and were not touched by God who shone brightly through them.
The hole in our lives was recently emphasized when our family tore down the house my grandpa built. We knew it had to be done, but tearing down the house felt like tearing out a piece of our family. Not one of us came out unscathed by the situation. That house represented the place where our family met - a little slice of heaven on earth.
First, I thank God for choosing to give me such wonderful people. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) They impacted my life far beyond what can be explained in words.
Second, I realize that Ecclesiastes 3:20 (from dust to dust) is true. Our bodies, our creations, worldly things all return back to dust. The house my grandpa built is a literal example of this. After the fall, earthly things were not destined to remain forever. This is why God tells us to "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth," Colossians 3:2. No physical thing on earth will ever satisfy. It all passes away. It is all temporal.
Third, I understand more fully what is truly valuable. My grandparents' home was not fancy. In fact, some might describe it as quite poor looking. But it was the best place ever! What made it great was not its floors, doors, or walls, but the people in it. Relationships were emphasized. (I still remember my grandma making me hug my cousin after we got into an argument when I was about 6!) Faith, family, and service were paramount. Even though my grandpa physically built the home, it belonged to Christ. (Matthew 6:20-21: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.)
Finally, as I ache for what is no longer here, Hebrews 14:14 (NLT) rings so very true, "For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." We should not be so comfortable here that we don't ache for eternity. My grandpa once said to me as he was aging - "The older I get, more of the people I love are in heaven than are here." I didn't understand it at the time, but it is true. For those who love Christ, our heart starts to leave this earth and becomes more and more attached to heaven.
But the catch is, you must have a relationship with Christ. Yes, I love my grandparents, my little brother, and my friends who have gone before me. But what really draws me to eternity is God. Some people think the afterlife is going to be a big reunion of all those we love. But some will be missing. Many will not be in heaven. Dying isn't an exciting time. Most of us dread it. Some of us will be extremely disappointed and terrified when we die. Others, who have an ongoing relationship with Christ, will be comforted and filled with joy.
We cannot have an earthly mindset. We cannot push the things of God aside and hope it all works out in the end. We cannot build our homes and kingdoms on this earth and think they will fulfill. Everyone dies and leaves this world behind. It is only Christ who saves, Christ who fulfills, Christ who matters. Our lives are not about us or our family. Our lives should reflect Christ in all that we do. We owe everything to Him. He is my rescuer. He will heal my broken heart. Because of Him, I will be with many of my family members again. But without Him, all that's left is dust.
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