Biblical Gender Roles
"Do these sunglasses make me look I want to punch someone in the face?"
Ummm...yes? (What a weirdo...)
So, there are some things about my husband that are considered typically male. He likes to be strong and look strong. He enjoys a good meal. He wrestles with the kids and he loves sports. However, there are things about him that aren't typically male. In fact, just the other day, we agreed that Derik would do the kids' baths while I replaced the tail light in his car. Our youngest boy was confused. He said, "You mean Mommy will do baths and Daddy will fix the car." No. That's not what we mean.
In our home, my husband peels potatoes, irons clothes, puts children to bed, and reads a lot of books. I manage the finances, do home repairs, keep track of the construction process, and do all the paperwork. We don't always break the traditional gender roles. Derik mows the lawn. I cook dinner. We also share many responsibilities as well. For instance, we both clean the house, and we both coach our kids' sports.
In the church, sometimes we believe incorrectly because we add to God's Word. Many traditional churchgoers believe that a women should stay at home, raising children, cleaning the house, and cooking meals. But, the Bible doesn't say that. The Bible also does not say that men must be in charge of finances and home repair. There is nothing unbiblical about dividing work along the lines of your strengths. If Derik were in charge of repairing our home, we'd be living in a shack! He's simply not mechanically inclined. And while I know how to iron, my husband is a pro, and can do it much faster than I can! My budget spreadsheet goes out 60 years from now - probably longer than I'll live. Derik makes up fun bedtime songs that move the children quickly through the process of bathing, changing, and brushing teeth. He is a fun and sensitive father who attends to his children - perhaps better than I do.
It is true that the Bible teaches that men and women have certain responsibilities in their households. Women need to manage their homes well. 1 Timothy 5:14 reads, "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." This means that a wife/mother cannot neglect her home to pursue her own ambitions. I don't get to stop working in our home in order to advance my career, pursue a degree, or go shopping. And men are instructed to "... be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." (1 Peter 3:7) In other words, men are supposed to serve their family with their strength. Derik protects our home. He works very hard. He also lifts really heavy things! He doesn't use his strength to hurt us, instead he uses it to help us.
But when we look at gender roles in marriage, the Bible never says women can't be responsible for home repairs or managing the budget nor that men can't care tenderly for children and do the laundry. We should be very careful not to add to the word of God when it comes to our marriages and family life. In fact, wisdom dictates that a couple should each operate within the strengths God has gave them. I am no less of a woman because my husband helps with laundry, and my husband is no less of a man because I fix things around the house. We must be careful not to fall into traditions simply for traditions sake, but rather to operate within our homes in a way that honors God and brings harmony and peace.
Ummm...yes? (What a weirdo...)
In our home, my husband peels potatoes, irons clothes, puts children to bed, and reads a lot of books. I manage the finances, do home repairs, keep track of the construction process, and do all the paperwork. We don't always break the traditional gender roles. Derik mows the lawn. I cook dinner. We also share many responsibilities as well. For instance, we both clean the house, and we both coach our kids' sports.
In the church, sometimes we believe incorrectly because we add to God's Word. Many traditional churchgoers believe that a women should stay at home, raising children, cleaning the house, and cooking meals. But, the Bible doesn't say that. The Bible also does not say that men must be in charge of finances and home repair. There is nothing unbiblical about dividing work along the lines of your strengths. If Derik were in charge of repairing our home, we'd be living in a shack! He's simply not mechanically inclined. And while I know how to iron, my husband is a pro, and can do it much faster than I can! My budget spreadsheet goes out 60 years from now - probably longer than I'll live. Derik makes up fun bedtime songs that move the children quickly through the process of bathing, changing, and brushing teeth. He is a fun and sensitive father who attends to his children - perhaps better than I do.
It is true that the Bible teaches that men and women have certain responsibilities in their households. Women need to manage their homes well. 1 Timothy 5:14 reads, "So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." This means that a wife/mother cannot neglect her home to pursue her own ambitions. I don't get to stop working in our home in order to advance my career, pursue a degree, or go shopping. And men are instructed to "... be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers." (1 Peter 3:7) In other words, men are supposed to serve their family with their strength. Derik protects our home. He works very hard. He also lifts really heavy things! He doesn't use his strength to hurt us, instead he uses it to help us.
But when we look at gender roles in marriage, the Bible never says women can't be responsible for home repairs or managing the budget nor that men can't care tenderly for children and do the laundry. We should be very careful not to add to the word of God when it comes to our marriages and family life. In fact, wisdom dictates that a couple should each operate within the strengths God has gave them. I am no less of a woman because my husband helps with laundry, and my husband is no less of a man because I fix things around the house. We must be careful not to fall into traditions simply for traditions sake, but rather to operate within our homes in a way that honors God and brings harmony and peace.
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