Stupid is Sticky Stuff
"My kid would never do that!" Most teachers have heard this phrase come out of a parent's mouth. I've heard it so much, I vowed I would never say it about my children. Because as any teacher will tell you, kids are capable of impressing us beyond what we could have imagined and failing us beyond what we've ever anticipated. All kids - no matter how "good" or "bad."
Since we have six children, there are a variety of personalities in our home. I am a rule follower. My husband is a reformed rule breaker. As such we have strict rule followers and serious rebels with a variety of shades in between. Life is chaotic as rule breakers forget about the rule followers in our home watching their every move. Deals are struck to "not tell mom" which rule followers have a hard time sticking to. Screaming, threatening, even punching take place as rebels attempt to get their way and rule followers won't relent. We have silent rebels and in your face rebels, just as we have silent rule followers and loud rule proclaimers. We also have teenagers who are a category unto themselves.
This is what I know as a mother of six, a teacher of more than 15 years, and a sinner myself - stupid is sticky stuff. But it isn't just my opinion or observation. Proverbs 22:15 reads "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him." This does not mean you need to beat your children. In fact, beating your children is not promoted in the Bible. Instead we are taught to discipline children, which is the only effective means of separating children from their sticky stupidity. Each of our children is disciplined according to the offense and in line with what is most effective with their personality. Do we spank some children on their bottoms? Yes. But not every child, because for some a stern word (or lecture) is all they need to abandon their foolish ways.
Like duct tape on a solid surface, stupid does not fall off kids easily. The process of removing foolishness from a child is arduous and time consuming. Just yesterday, I disciplined my teenager for the very same offense I thought we had already worked through in the spring. Really? You didn't learn your lesson the first time? Guess not! Then I have another child who mistakenly thought the rules for our family didn't extend outside of our home. So he received a quick reminder and reprimand that our family's standards travel with him wherever he goes. Our rule followers like to make up their own rules and apply them to others - another form of stupidity albeit a less obvious one - and they too receive correction.
I'm tired of pulling duct tape, I mean stupidity, off of my children. The process isn't fun. They kept re-sticking it back on! Just when I think we've almost made it, another piece shows up! But before they leave this house, I am hoping that most of that sticky stuff will be gone. 18 years. That's all all the time I've been given to officially partake in sticky stuff removal. Before I know it, those years will be gone. Our oldest leaves in less than 3. And someday I hope we'll have some sort of friendship, but for now, that isn't my job. My job is to raise and train these kids, to love and discipline them, to teach them about the God and why Christ followers pattern themselves after Christ. I always try to make the consequence fit the crime, and my mantra around the house is, "As soon as you learn to discipline yourselves, I won't have to." Even though stupid is sticky, children are capable of recognizing it and peeling it off themselves. Children and adults alike need God's help in removing sticky stupidity.
Since we have six children, there are a variety of personalities in our home. I am a rule follower. My husband is a reformed rule breaker. As such we have strict rule followers and serious rebels with a variety of shades in between. Life is chaotic as rule breakers forget about the rule followers in our home watching their every move. Deals are struck to "not tell mom" which rule followers have a hard time sticking to. Screaming, threatening, even punching take place as rebels attempt to get their way and rule followers won't relent. We have silent rebels and in your face rebels, just as we have silent rule followers and loud rule proclaimers. We also have teenagers who are a category unto themselves.
This is what I know as a mother of six, a teacher of more than 15 years, and a sinner myself - stupid is sticky stuff. But it isn't just my opinion or observation. Proverbs 22:15 reads "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him." This does not mean you need to beat your children. In fact, beating your children is not promoted in the Bible. Instead we are taught to discipline children, which is the only effective means of separating children from their sticky stupidity. Each of our children is disciplined according to the offense and in line with what is most effective with their personality. Do we spank some children on their bottoms? Yes. But not every child, because for some a stern word (or lecture) is all they need to abandon their foolish ways.
Like duct tape on a solid surface, stupid does not fall off kids easily. The process of removing foolishness from a child is arduous and time consuming. Just yesterday, I disciplined my teenager for the very same offense I thought we had already worked through in the spring. Really? You didn't learn your lesson the first time? Guess not! Then I have another child who mistakenly thought the rules for our family didn't extend outside of our home. So he received a quick reminder and reprimand that our family's standards travel with him wherever he goes. Our rule followers like to make up their own rules and apply them to others - another form of stupidity albeit a less obvious one - and they too receive correction.
I'm tired of pulling duct tape, I mean stupidity, off of my children. The process isn't fun. They kept re-sticking it back on! Just when I think we've almost made it, another piece shows up! But before they leave this house, I am hoping that most of that sticky stuff will be gone. 18 years. That's all all the time I've been given to officially partake in sticky stuff removal. Before I know it, those years will be gone. Our oldest leaves in less than 3. And someday I hope we'll have some sort of friendship, but for now, that isn't my job. My job is to raise and train these kids, to love and discipline them, to teach them about the God and why Christ followers pattern themselves after Christ. I always try to make the consequence fit the crime, and my mantra around the house is, "As soon as you learn to discipline yourselves, I won't have to." Even though stupid is sticky, children are capable of recognizing it and peeling it off themselves. Children and adults alike need God's help in removing sticky stupidity.
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