Disunity in the Church
Have you ever noticed that where a large group of people are gathered, there are disagreements? At our table of 8, we have disagreements about what to eat. In our country, we have disagreements about government policy. In our church, we have plenty of interpersonal disagreements. But God didn't intend for His children - the followers of Christ to live in discord. In fact, He calls us to be "of one mind" (1 Corinthians 1:10). However, God's instructions do not sit deeply with many. Sadly, many people take them as only a suggestion.
Many years ago, I was a pastor's wife. In that particular role, I saw things from a different perspective. It was messy. Interpersonal conflict was high within the church. This person didn't like that person. That person said nasty things about this person. Ugh. After my divorce, I opted to stay as far away from ministry as possible. Because while the local church promotes unity on the surface, many church members think that unity is found when others agree with them. But the Bible doesn't teach that.
Even in my church, disagreements between women abound. Did you hear what so and so said about so and so? Can you believe she is divorced? If you really loved women, you would do this and that. Your idea won't work. You shouldn't have done that because it offends me. Can you believe she is a republican...democrat? She shouldn't read that book, because there is no such thing as Christian romance. God doesn't like that music - God only likes hymns. She should open up and tell us her feelings because we're her friends and we want to know what she's thinking (they scream). It makes my head SPIN! There are so many interpersonal conflicts between people because many women want other women to think like they do. And if other women don't think like they do, then at the very least, other women should make them feel good. The focus for unity becomes so internal that it can't happen. You see, we don't unite around ourselves, we unite around the unchanging Word of God.
My husband asked me the other day why I liked to play team sports if I don't like working in groups. And the truth is, I like team sports because we all want to win, we all have a role to play, and we have a coach who will put people in and take people out of the game when someone isn't pulling their weight. There is accountability and I enjoy watching others succeed while we work together.
Women in the church should work similarly. We should all work together to achieve the same goal, celebrating each other's gifts while holding ourselves and those around us accountable to God's Word. So many of us are caught up with how we feel and what we want that we lose our focus of pleasing God and serving others. Inevitably, we will all have disagreements. I can't begin to tell you how many people disagree with me daily. But how we resolve our disagreements is not based upon making us feel good, it is based upon Biblical truth. What does God's Word teach us about this situation? I've been told I talk about the Bible too much and shouldn't bring it up during times of conflict. But I'll take that criticism any day. Because if we cannot unite around the Bible, then we aren't following the Bible's teachings.
For instance, let's say a new small group is being formed and they need a name. Seemingly it is a pretty innocent task. Many ideas will probably be suggested. But we KNOW that the name, Satan's Servants, is definitely out of the question - no matter how fond of alliteration you are. We also know that the name, Women's Bible Study, bears no offense to God. Now, if you wanted to call the small group, Jehovah's Witnesses, you might be well intended, but there might also be issues because the name is already affiliated with a different group that isn't Bible believing. So even though there are disagreements about the name, God's Word still offers us guidance in this small matter. And if you think about it, it is often the small matters that trip people up. Usually it isn't massive theological debates within the church that divide us. We are dividing ourselves based upon feelings and offense.
I am far from perfect, but I attempt to solve disunity by implementing Biblical wisdom. James 4:1 reads, "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" We would all be far better suited if we all applied 1 Peter 3:8 to our lives. "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind."
Many years ago, I was a pastor's wife. In that particular role, I saw things from a different perspective. It was messy. Interpersonal conflict was high within the church. This person didn't like that person. That person said nasty things about this person. Ugh. After my divorce, I opted to stay as far away from ministry as possible. Because while the local church promotes unity on the surface, many church members think that unity is found when others agree with them. But the Bible doesn't teach that.
My husband asked me the other day why I liked to play team sports if I don't like working in groups. And the truth is, I like team sports because we all want to win, we all have a role to play, and we have a coach who will put people in and take people out of the game when someone isn't pulling their weight. There is accountability and I enjoy watching others succeed while we work together.
Women in the church should work similarly. We should all work together to achieve the same goal, celebrating each other's gifts while holding ourselves and those around us accountable to God's Word. So many of us are caught up with how we feel and what we want that we lose our focus of pleasing God and serving others. Inevitably, we will all have disagreements. I can't begin to tell you how many people disagree with me daily. But how we resolve our disagreements is not based upon making us feel good, it is based upon Biblical truth. What does God's Word teach us about this situation? I've been told I talk about the Bible too much and shouldn't bring it up during times of conflict. But I'll take that criticism any day. Because if we cannot unite around the Bible, then we aren't following the Bible's teachings.
For instance, let's say a new small group is being formed and they need a name. Seemingly it is a pretty innocent task. Many ideas will probably be suggested. But we KNOW that the name, Satan's Servants, is definitely out of the question - no matter how fond of alliteration you are. We also know that the name, Women's Bible Study, bears no offense to God. Now, if you wanted to call the small group, Jehovah's Witnesses, you might be well intended, but there might also be issues because the name is already affiliated with a different group that isn't Bible believing. So even though there are disagreements about the name, God's Word still offers us guidance in this small matter. And if you think about it, it is often the small matters that trip people up. Usually it isn't massive theological debates within the church that divide us. We are dividing ourselves based upon feelings and offense.
I am far from perfect, but I attempt to solve disunity by implementing Biblical wisdom. James 4:1 reads, "What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?" We would all be far better suited if we all applied 1 Peter 3:8 to our lives. "Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind."
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