When God Doesn't Answer
My teenager is in trouble. I won't go into the details, but he's pretty much in trouble until his character changes. He knows why he is in trouble. He understands the consequences of his actions. he also understands the parameters under which he now has to live, but he is very very very frustrated because no matter how hard he tries to keep up his good behavior, given enough time, he fails. So, we have long discussions - not shallow tit for tat discussions about getting stuff and privileges back, but serious spiritual discussions about what is happening in the fight for his soul. We also talk about how we are not able to change ourselves, instead we have to submit our will to God's and allow Him to change us.
If you know me, I'm not a normal mom. I say this because I don't want you to think my teen is some crazy off the wall kid. He's not. He's fairly good as far as teenagers go. He generally makes good decisions, generally gets good grades, and is generally responsible. But I don't look at my child the way the world looks at my child. I look as deep into his soul as God will allow me to look. And when I see a glaring character flaw, it gets addressed. This drives my child crazy, because he thinks he should be able to keep up good deeds long enough to be relieved of his restrictions. I tell him, the essence of who he is must be changed by Christ or he'll never be comfortable in this home.
So he said to me the other day, "Mom, I have been praying about this and begging God to change me, but He won't answer!"
So, I asked him, "How do you expect God to answer you? Do you think He will speak to you audibly? Do you think He is just going to give you what you want?"
"Well, no. I don't know how He will answer, but I've been asking for a really long time (about 4 weeks) and still, there is nothing!"
I explained to him that a lot of people beg God to relieve their suffering and God does not. Does that mean God didn't answer? Or did He just say, "no?"
The truth is, God sometimes says "no." In 1 Corinthians 12:8-9, Paul explains, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" God always answers in His time. But sometimes God says "no."
The other question I asked my child is, "If you want God to give you an answer, in what manner do you expect He will answer? Because if you are waiting for God to do all the work while you won't even read what He's already said to you, you're being arrogant."
At this the teen was very angry. A prideful heart will demand that God answer under certain parameters - usually with a yes, in a certain time frame, and in a certain way. But we never get to put parameters on God. We never get to tell God how, when, or with what He should answer. We have a responsibility to humbly ask and humbly accept whatever answer God gives to us. We also have a responsibility to read what He has written to us.
Recently I sat in on an open house at my child's high school. It was supposed to be a low stress environment where parents move through their students' schedules and meet all their teachers. I asked questions about some general class procedures, such as, "What should my child do in your class when he knows he will be absent for an orthodontist appointment?" But one parent went after the pre-calc teacher and accused her of "not teaching" in the class so her child couldn't learn. As a former pre-calc teacher, this bothered me. I know math is hard. I understand that some students struggle more than others. But this particular school uses text books for math, the teacher is more than willing to help students outside of class, and students also have their own computers which they can use to seek help online. It isn't the teacher's fault this kid expects math to be magically insert math into their head.
So it is with the Christian life. Life is hard, I don't always understand why things happen as they do. However, God is always there to guide us. We can pray and ask Him for anything and He will always answer. He has given us His Word to consult, and He expects us to use it. We can get angry and blame God when we don't get our way, but it is always wrong to accuse Him of not answering, especially when we won't even read what He has already said.
God promises His children in Matthew 7:7-8, that anyone who asks will be answered, and anyone who seeks for the Lord, will find Him. If you are a child of God, He will always listen to you and always answer you in the manner and time He sees fit.
If you know me, I'm not a normal mom. I say this because I don't want you to think my teen is some crazy off the wall kid. He's not. He's fairly good as far as teenagers go. He generally makes good decisions, generally gets good grades, and is generally responsible. But I don't look at my child the way the world looks at my child. I look as deep into his soul as God will allow me to look. And when I see a glaring character flaw, it gets addressed. This drives my child crazy, because he thinks he should be able to keep up good deeds long enough to be relieved of his restrictions. I tell him, the essence of who he is must be changed by Christ or he'll never be comfortable in this home.
So he said to me the other day, "Mom, I have been praying about this and begging God to change me, but He won't answer!"
"Well, no. I don't know how He will answer, but I've been asking for a really long time (about 4 weeks) and still, there is nothing!"
I explained to him that a lot of people beg God to relieve their suffering and God does not. Does that mean God didn't answer? Or did He just say, "no?"
The truth is, God sometimes says "no." In 1 Corinthians 12:8-9, Paul explains, "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" God always answers in His time. But sometimes God says "no."
The other question I asked my child is, "If you want God to give you an answer, in what manner do you expect He will answer? Because if you are waiting for God to do all the work while you won't even read what He's already said to you, you're being arrogant."
At this the teen was very angry. A prideful heart will demand that God answer under certain parameters - usually with a yes, in a certain time frame, and in a certain way. But we never get to put parameters on God. We never get to tell God how, when, or with what He should answer. We have a responsibility to humbly ask and humbly accept whatever answer God gives to us. We also have a responsibility to read what He has written to us.
Recently I sat in on an open house at my child's high school. It was supposed to be a low stress environment where parents move through their students' schedules and meet all their teachers. I asked questions about some general class procedures, such as, "What should my child do in your class when he knows he will be absent for an orthodontist appointment?" But one parent went after the pre-calc teacher and accused her of "not teaching" in the class so her child couldn't learn. As a former pre-calc teacher, this bothered me. I know math is hard. I understand that some students struggle more than others. But this particular school uses text books for math, the teacher is more than willing to help students outside of class, and students also have their own computers which they can use to seek help online. It isn't the teacher's fault this kid expects math to be magically insert math into their head.
So it is with the Christian life. Life is hard, I don't always understand why things happen as they do. However, God is always there to guide us. We can pray and ask Him for anything and He will always answer. He has given us His Word to consult, and He expects us to use it. We can get angry and blame God when we don't get our way, but it is always wrong to accuse Him of not answering, especially when we won't even read what He has already said.
God promises His children in Matthew 7:7-8, that anyone who asks will be answered, and anyone who seeks for the Lord, will find Him. If you are a child of God, He will always listen to you and always answer you in the manner and time He sees fit.
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