A Bad Day
Sunday was a great day which left me feeling joyful on Monday morning. I woke up early to write a post about Sunday's inspirational events. My heart was full and I was smiling ear to ear. But before I finished, I had errands to run. I dropped off my oldest to basketball practice and got groceries. While standing in a very long line to check out, I scrolled through my facebook feed and read the background story regarding something that had happened to me (though I was not mentioned by name). I became livid. I immediately called my husband and told him the new information. I won't go into details, but if you knew the whole story, you'd find the matter concerning.
In that moment, I went from having a really good day to having a fairly bad day. I picked up my son from basketball. He asked for fast food, and I snapped at him. All the way home I thought about how I had been mislead or perhaps even set-up. I rationalized my feelings with logic. I tried to make myself see the other perspective. I got home and talked with my husband about it again. He said if it had happened to him, he would be extremely angry as well, but that I should have expected it based upon human nature.
After I got done talking to myself and talking to my husband, I decided to actually talk to God. I had been complaining to Him for the last hour, but this time, I was going to take it seriously. This is what I learned.
1) What happened is not a big deal. It may feel like a big deal today, but in a year, I will not care.
2) People do sinful things - even people who claim to be Christians. To always expect people to be upright, logical, and wise is an unrealistic expectation.
3) Airing my grievance may "win" people to my side, but even if you're absolutely right, often you still look bad. Airing grievances should be left for truly serious situations.
4) God made this decision.
What I really want to do right now is tell you all the back story so you can be mad too. I want to expose what happened so that the people who did it will feel bad - maybe not remorseful - just bad. The immature girl within me is screaming and upset, but I have no right to be angry, because God decided. And what He decided was best.
When I accepted the fact that God decided, my mind began to change followed by my heart. As I look back over the most difficult times in my life - abandonment, divorce, life-threatening illness - I realize that God picked all those things for me too. They were so hard, so lonely, so depressing, and yet it was mostly those times that molded me into who God wanted me to be. The suffering, the trouble, the not understanding - they all caused me to trust God more. If I can trust God in the truly difficult times of life, I can find joy in the small turns He throws my way. After all, God knows what is best. He understands the course I am supposed to take in life. I may think I know where I'm going, but it is only God that knows the way.
I would have never picked abandonment for my life. I would have never picked divorce for my life. I would have never picked severe illness for my life. I would not have picked what happened yesterday either. But God did. He knew I needed those experiences. So, instead of being angry, I choose to be thankful - thankful that God is always looking out for me and directing my path.
After I got done talking to myself and talking to my husband, I decided to actually talk to God. I had been complaining to Him for the last hour, but this time, I was going to take it seriously. This is what I learned.
1) What happened is not a big deal. It may feel like a big deal today, but in a year, I will not care.
2) People do sinful things - even people who claim to be Christians. To always expect people to be upright, logical, and wise is an unrealistic expectation.
3) Airing my grievance may "win" people to my side, but even if you're absolutely right, often you still look bad. Airing grievances should be left for truly serious situations.
4) God made this decision.
What I really want to do right now is tell you all the back story so you can be mad too. I want to expose what happened so that the people who did it will feel bad - maybe not remorseful - just bad. The immature girl within me is screaming and upset, but I have no right to be angry, because God decided. And what He decided was best.
When I accepted the fact that God decided, my mind began to change followed by my heart. As I look back over the most difficult times in my life - abandonment, divorce, life-threatening illness - I realize that God picked all those things for me too. They were so hard, so lonely, so depressing, and yet it was mostly those times that molded me into who God wanted me to be. The suffering, the trouble, the not understanding - they all caused me to trust God more. If I can trust God in the truly difficult times of life, I can find joy in the small turns He throws my way. After all, God knows what is best. He understands the course I am supposed to take in life. I may think I know where I'm going, but it is only God that knows the way.
I would have never picked abandonment for my life. I would have never picked divorce for my life. I would have never picked severe illness for my life. I would not have picked what happened yesterday either. But God did. He knew I needed those experiences. So, instead of being angry, I choose to be thankful - thankful that God is always looking out for me and directing my path.
Proverbs 16:1 and 9
The plans of the heart belong to man,
but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.
The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.
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