What Dads Do
I like to think I can do just about anything. Growing up, I heard, "You can be anything you want to be. You can do anything you want to do." In 4th grade, I'd arm wrestle boys (and win) to get the best swing on the playground. In middle school when boys wanted to "go out with me" I often laughed in their face. What a silly idea! I enjoyed playing sports, and when high school gym class was divided by boys and girls, somehow I got put with the boys. I was often the only girl in my college math classes and so boys became my study partners. Over the course of my life, platonic boy friends seemed to be a better fit for me. Maybe it was because I only had brothers. Maybe it was because we shared similar interests, but for whatever reason I preferred the company of men to women.
Fast forward twenty years, and not much has changed. I'd rather climb a mountain than go to a shopping mall. I'd rather solve math problems than talk about my feelings. When something breaks in the house, I fix it. I still enjoy competing and winning, and I believe I can do almost anything my husband can do. But I could never be a dad.
Even though I can do most stereotypical dad things, my children look at my husband differently than me. So what is it that dads do that I can't do? The answer is simple: He is a man. I am not. He is a husband. He embodies for our girls what they should look for in a spouse. He is the living example for our boys of a godly man. Even though Dad is exceedingly strong, he doesn't use his strength in an abusive way, but rather a protective way. He's not domineering and treats me with love and respect. When dad speaks, the children listen. I still do not completely understand this, but he elicits a respectful fear from our children that I cannot.
16 years into this parenting journey, I have learned that no matter how competent I am in "dad" things, I could never be a dad. To be honest, my husband can't fix anything and he's not particularly good with numbers, but our kids don't care. Because being a dad isn't about fitting a particular stereotype. Being a dad is about reflecting the image of God in a way that a mother cannot.
There are some who believe that men and women aren't different - that husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, male and female are simply societal constructs. They even take some scriptures out of context in an effort to support their idea. However, if we go right back to the beginning of creation we see that God made woman different from man. He didn't create the woman to be exactly like the man, but instead formed her to be equal in value and worth, but with different characteristics so that together they complemented one another. She was a suitable "helper" for her husband similar to how God is a "helper" to all of us. She was not created less than or greater than, simply uniquely helpful. All the characteristics originally poured into both male and female came from God were made in the image of God.
Genesis 2:18, 21-22 reads, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him...So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man."
I am competent. I am competitive. I like to win and succeed. I believe I can do almost anything a man can do. But I will never be a man. I will never be a husband. I will never be a dad. My husband is such a necessary part of the family that he cannot be replaced by anyone or anything. Together, as husband and wife, we strive to reflect the image of God. In a society where masculinity, fatherhood, and maleness are constantly being attacked or replaced by femininity, Christians should strive to uphold both mothers and fathers, males and females, masculinity and femininity. One is not better than the other. Both are extremely necessary to healthy homes and a balanced world. Dads cannot be replaced by moms. What dads do is not only important but essential.
Fast forward twenty years, and not much has changed. I'd rather climb a mountain than go to a shopping mall. I'd rather solve math problems than talk about my feelings. When something breaks in the house, I fix it. I still enjoy competing and winning, and I believe I can do almost anything my husband can do. But I could never be a dad.
Even though I can do most stereotypical dad things, my children look at my husband differently than me. So what is it that dads do that I can't do? The answer is simple: He is a man. I am not. He is a husband. He embodies for our girls what they should look for in a spouse. He is the living example for our boys of a godly man. Even though Dad is exceedingly strong, he doesn't use his strength in an abusive way, but rather a protective way. He's not domineering and treats me with love and respect. When dad speaks, the children listen. I still do not completely understand this, but he elicits a respectful fear from our children that I cannot.
16 years into this parenting journey, I have learned that no matter how competent I am in "dad" things, I could never be a dad. To be honest, my husband can't fix anything and he's not particularly good with numbers, but our kids don't care. Because being a dad isn't about fitting a particular stereotype. Being a dad is about reflecting the image of God in a way that a mother cannot.
Genesis 2:18, 21-22 reads, "Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him...So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man."
I am competent. I am competitive. I like to win and succeed. I believe I can do almost anything a man can do. But I will never be a man. I will never be a husband. I will never be a dad. My husband is such a necessary part of the family that he cannot be replaced by anyone or anything. Together, as husband and wife, we strive to reflect the image of God. In a society where masculinity, fatherhood, and maleness are constantly being attacked or replaced by femininity, Christians should strive to uphold both mothers and fathers, males and females, masculinity and femininity. One is not better than the other. Both are extremely necessary to healthy homes and a balanced world. Dads cannot be replaced by moms. What dads do is not only important but essential.
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