Perfect Family Perfect Life
No issues here...just a perfect family enjoying a conflict free Christmas!
Marriage: Perfect...we are always on the same page.
Parenting: Nailed it. Every day our kids do exactly what we say, exactly when we want them to, and they are never disrespectful.
Money, health, chores, in laws: pure utopia...
This quote appeared on one of my social media friend's pages attached to a family picture. It makes you think, doesn't it?
Most people are obsessed with perception. We want others to see us in a certain light - successful marriage, well behaved kids, financially at peace, everything in order. But let's face it, no one has it all together. Even so, we want others to think we do. But why? What do we have to gain when others admire us or think better of us than we are?
I'd like to think I'm exempt from this line of thinking, but I'm not. To be honest, I want to be successful. I want to be well educated and get straight A's. I want my kids to behave. I want my husband to be happy with me. I want our finances to be in order. I seek after all these things. But some days, I don't get along with my spouse. Sometimes those days stretch into weeks, and sadly, even months. Our bank accounts are not always full and brimming. Unexpected expenses can reek havoc in our lives. The burden of debt and paying bills can feel overwhelming. My kids have an uncanny ability to act like angels in public and demons at home. There's nothing quite like talking to a fellow church member on the phone while your kids sound like they are trying to kill each other in the background. Even at work, I try really hard to be the best employee I can possibly be. And yet, I was recently reprimanded for going above and beyond in a way that was not authorized.
As someone who always likes to "be the best" I don't think the drive to succeed will ever leave me. But if I allow my pride to get in the way, difficult situations will never improve. I tell others often that people do not know what goes on behind closed doors. So many families are suffering because they put on a front in public or on social media that does not accurately represent their home life. Then when trouble hits, instead of getting help, they strive desperately to maintain that front so that others don't think badly of them.
Airing your dirty laundry isn't a good idea. But neither is pretending everything is okay while you're life is in pieces. What's the old saying? Pride comes before the fall. This is based on Proverbs 16:18 which reads, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Pride keeps us from doing what is right.
We do not honor Christ by perfectly painting our lives for all to see. In fact, we dishonor him by denying the truth and refusing to work through the difficulties in our life. A person with cancer does nothing to improve their health by denying that they have it. Instead, they exhaust all resources to get better.
I'll still post pictures on Facebook which paint our family in a good light. I will still talk positively about my kids and husband in public. I have no intention of broadcasting my failures to the world. But when trouble hits at home behind closed doors, I won't ignore it. If my marriage is in trouble, I'll seek help, regardless of what other people think. If my kids are acting sinfully, I will read books and talk to skilled parents about the issues in order to find effective and godly ways to address the issue. If my finances are a disaster, I will cut back on spending and create a budget for the family. And when I fail at work, I'll own up to it and change my behavior in the future. I will stop putting the opinion of others on the throne of my life.
As someone who wants the respect and admiration of others, admitting failures is painful. Seeing myself as God sees me is both uplifting and disheartening. I am so thankful that God saved my soul but at the same time I am still weak and broken - we all are. I am no better or worse than you. But when I choose to act pridefully instead of submit to God's will for my life, I sin. It is a well known secret that you cannot please everyone all the time. In fact, there are a handful of people angry with me and disparaging me even now - as there are with you.
So, let's care more about what God thinks than what people think, because at the end of this life we stand before only One. And it isn't our neighbor, friend, church member, or spouse. It is God alone. Let's seek to please Him in all we do, even if others think poorly of us for doing it.
Marriage: Perfect...we are always on the same page.
Parenting: Nailed it. Every day our kids do exactly what we say, exactly when we want them to, and they are never disrespectful.
Money, health, chores, in laws: pure utopia...
This quote appeared on one of my social media friend's pages attached to a family picture. It makes you think, doesn't it?
I'd like to think I'm exempt from this line of thinking, but I'm not. To be honest, I want to be successful. I want to be well educated and get straight A's. I want my kids to behave. I want my husband to be happy with me. I want our finances to be in order. I seek after all these things. But some days, I don't get along with my spouse. Sometimes those days stretch into weeks, and sadly, even months. Our bank accounts are not always full and brimming. Unexpected expenses can reek havoc in our lives. The burden of debt and paying bills can feel overwhelming. My kids have an uncanny ability to act like angels in public and demons at home. There's nothing quite like talking to a fellow church member on the phone while your kids sound like they are trying to kill each other in the background. Even at work, I try really hard to be the best employee I can possibly be. And yet, I was recently reprimanded for going above and beyond in a way that was not authorized.
As someone who always likes to "be the best" I don't think the drive to succeed will ever leave me. But if I allow my pride to get in the way, difficult situations will never improve. I tell others often that people do not know what goes on behind closed doors. So many families are suffering because they put on a front in public or on social media that does not accurately represent their home life. Then when trouble hits, instead of getting help, they strive desperately to maintain that front so that others don't think badly of them.
Airing your dirty laundry isn't a good idea. But neither is pretending everything is okay while you're life is in pieces. What's the old saying? Pride comes before the fall. This is based on Proverbs 16:18 which reads, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." Pride keeps us from doing what is right.
We do not honor Christ by perfectly painting our lives for all to see. In fact, we dishonor him by denying the truth and refusing to work through the difficulties in our life. A person with cancer does nothing to improve their health by denying that they have it. Instead, they exhaust all resources to get better.
I'll still post pictures on Facebook which paint our family in a good light. I will still talk positively about my kids and husband in public. I have no intention of broadcasting my failures to the world. But when trouble hits at home behind closed doors, I won't ignore it. If my marriage is in trouble, I'll seek help, regardless of what other people think. If my kids are acting sinfully, I will read books and talk to skilled parents about the issues in order to find effective and godly ways to address the issue. If my finances are a disaster, I will cut back on spending and create a budget for the family. And when I fail at work, I'll own up to it and change my behavior in the future. I will stop putting the opinion of others on the throne of my life.
As someone who wants the respect and admiration of others, admitting failures is painful. Seeing myself as God sees me is both uplifting and disheartening. I am so thankful that God saved my soul but at the same time I am still weak and broken - we all are. I am no better or worse than you. But when I choose to act pridefully instead of submit to God's will for my life, I sin. It is a well known secret that you cannot please everyone all the time. In fact, there are a handful of people angry with me and disparaging me even now - as there are with you.
So, let's care more about what God thinks than what people think, because at the end of this life we stand before only One. And it isn't our neighbor, friend, church member, or spouse. It is God alone. Let's seek to please Him in all we do, even if others think poorly of us for doing it.
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