Are your children well-behaved?
My mom was strict. My children say I am too. But that does not mean my children are without error or that they are particularly easy to raise. Case in point:
Child A was upset with child B about the radio station playing in their shared room. The disagreement began with words but escalated quickly until child A body slammed child B by jumping from the top bunk onto the bottom bunk giving child B a bloody lip. I intervened quickly and both children learned multiple lessons that evening. One of them being - do not mess with Mom. The other one being - body slamming only makes the situation worse.
I tell this story because many people have the impression that my children are not as naughty as others. I assure you, they are. I birthed professional sinners who have no shortage of folly in their hearts (Proverbs 22:15). Left to their own devices, they will choose wrong every time.
I don't remember being a naughty child, but I do remember getting in trouble. I had a sharp tongue and a prideful heart. However, I learned early on that if I chose to use my tongue or lean on my pride, my mother would intervene in way that made me regret my choices. I loved my mom a lot, but I don't remember liking her very much. She didn't let me do what I wanted. I couldn't get away from her standards, and if I rejected them, my life was rather unpleasant. In middle school, she once said to me, "Just wait until you have your own kids." I thought, "I'll do everything differently." Well, Mom, I was wrong. I'm pretty much following in your footsteps. And this is why:
My mom taught me the value of discipline. She expected me to behave even when I didn't feel like. Similarly, my mom emulated this behavior. When people were upset with my mom, she returned good for evil. When my mom told me to read my Bible and seek God in prayer, we saw her do it. At family reunions or potlucks kids typically got to eat first, but not us. My mom never let us cut in line or put ourselves first. We were notoriously last. Similarly, at the grocery store, she often let people in front of us and even paid for other people's groceries when they were short on money. My mom taught me to control my behavior by disciplining me when I was out of step and by showing me what it meant to follow Christ moment by moment.
I write all this not as a parenting guide or a piece of praise to my mom. I write this because the most important lesson she taught me was continual obedience. I learned early on to obey my mom - and my dad and my grandparents and all other sources of authority. So, when I grew up and had to obey God without the guidance of my mother, the transition seemed logical. In fact, obeying God was almost easier than obeying my mom, because she prepared me to walk with Christ through self-discipline, humility, and devotion.
Today, we have an abundance of undisciplined children. School is full of them. Restaurants seem to attract them; even the halls of church are filled with out of control little humans. This should not be. Every Christian parent should strive to raise well-behaved children who listen and obey. Our motivation should not come from the desire to look better than other families or even to have peace in our homes. We should all strive to raise obedient children because when children learn to first obey their parents, it is much easier for them to obey their Father in heaven. Raising children has nothing to do with fulfilling self, and everything to do with discipleship. The primary role of a parent is to disciple their children. Yet, without obedience, there can be no discipleship.
Romans 6:16 reminds us that obedience shows others to whom we belong. I first belonged to my mother, but through her instruction, I came to realize that I belong to Christ:
Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?
To whom do your children belong? How are you preparing them to obey Christ?
Child A was upset with child B about the radio station playing in their shared room. The disagreement began with words but escalated quickly until child A body slammed child B by jumping from the top bunk onto the bottom bunk giving child B a bloody lip. I intervened quickly and both children learned multiple lessons that evening. One of them being - do not mess with Mom. The other one being - body slamming only makes the situation worse.
I don't remember being a naughty child, but I do remember getting in trouble. I had a sharp tongue and a prideful heart. However, I learned early on that if I chose to use my tongue or lean on my pride, my mother would intervene in way that made me regret my choices. I loved my mom a lot, but I don't remember liking her very much. She didn't let me do what I wanted. I couldn't get away from her standards, and if I rejected them, my life was rather unpleasant. In middle school, she once said to me, "Just wait until you have your own kids." I thought, "I'll do everything differently." Well, Mom, I was wrong. I'm pretty much following in your footsteps. And this is why:
My mom taught me the value of discipline. She expected me to behave even when I didn't feel like. Similarly, my mom emulated this behavior. When people were upset with my mom, she returned good for evil. When my mom told me to read my Bible and seek God in prayer, we saw her do it. At family reunions or potlucks kids typically got to eat first, but not us. My mom never let us cut in line or put ourselves first. We were notoriously last. Similarly, at the grocery store, she often let people in front of us and even paid for other people's groceries when they were short on money. My mom taught me to control my behavior by disciplining me when I was out of step and by showing me what it meant to follow Christ moment by moment.
I write all this not as a parenting guide or a piece of praise to my mom. I write this because the most important lesson she taught me was continual obedience. I learned early on to obey my mom - and my dad and my grandparents and all other sources of authority. So, when I grew up and had to obey God without the guidance of my mother, the transition seemed logical. In fact, obeying God was almost easier than obeying my mom, because she prepared me to walk with Christ through self-discipline, humility, and devotion.
Today, we have an abundance of undisciplined children. School is full of them. Restaurants seem to attract them; even the halls of church are filled with out of control little humans. This should not be. Every Christian parent should strive to raise well-behaved children who listen and obey. Our motivation should not come from the desire to look better than other families or even to have peace in our homes. We should all strive to raise obedient children because when children learn to first obey their parents, it is much easier for them to obey their Father in heaven. Raising children has nothing to do with fulfilling self, and everything to do with discipleship. The primary role of a parent is to disciple their children. Yet, without obedience, there can be no discipleship.
Romans 6:16 reminds us that obedience shows others to whom we belong. I first belonged to my mother, but through her instruction, I came to realize that I belong to Christ:
Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?
To whom do your children belong? How are you preparing them to obey Christ?
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